(no subject)

To those of you that haven't heard by reading the drama over on Laurel's Journal, we have broken up.

I'd like to state for the record that I am sorry it has come to this. I love her dearly and will for a long, long time. I hope she doesn't hate me too much, though at the moment I can't tell. She hasn't talked to me since Thursday without yelling so I honestly don't know what's going through her head. I don't know what was going through her head when she went and talked to my ex. If she feels that she is better off now, then I wish her well.

We have lots to work out in terms of getting our apartment sorted out and the PG&E bill transferred to me solely, not to mention the very lonely kitten in my lap purring up a storm.

I wish I could just dismiss this "damn, I keep going out with the same psycho women..." but this is nothing of the sort. Laurel and I have had some wonderful times over the last year and a half, we simply grew apart and stopped communicating. If things with Corey had been like this, I'd probably still call her a friend. I know I'd like to call Laurel a friend a few months from now. I just wish she could talk to me rationally enough to tell me what she wants.

I hope that the healing begins before anything else for her.

And on my side of things, I'm going to take a cue from swinger_kitten and simply stop dating. Maybe there really isn't anything to be afraid of just because I can't hold down a stable relationship. It's possible that I am simply meant to be single the rest of my life and make my happiness elsewhere. That thought scares me, but I have to admit it's a possibility... and at this stage, a rather probable one. I've been at this sort of point before. After Katie and I broke up after 3 years I was single for 3 years. I don't mean "I only kissed people and slept with them pointlessly." I mean I was single. It wasn't the best point in my life, but far from the worst. I'll go that route for a while. Years probably.

I hope that Laurel takes something good out of the last year and a half. I know I will. And I'll miss you in my life.

Goodnight, and good luck.
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Give a Damn

(no subject)

And tonight we dealt with a stupid customer billing issue with the place where we adopted the k1tt3ns from. They failed to send us a bill for something that they were going to pay for, and then sent us to collections for it...

We complained, they apologized profusely, and tomorrow morning they are going to deal with the collections agency.

I'm redoing the website at work, it's coming along nicely. I think I'm going to do it in CSS instead of tables. Stupid MSIE compatibility bullshit. Oh well. It works just fine as tables in firefox, netscape, safari, opera, etc. IE is just fucking broken. Again, Oh well. I'll redo it in CSS and add some dhtml menu something or other to make my VP happy about it. I can't show it to you because I'm the only web designer on the payroll, and as such I'm not going to show you my mistakes before I have a chance to finish testing everything and can launch it with some sort of feeling of comfort in you all knowing where I work. ;)

Not much else new... Ren Faire is almsot over, there's only 2 weeks left for those of you into that sort of thing: is where you can find info and directions and such. I'd love to see some more of you down there. I'm at the "Big Swing". Trust me, you don't need to know what it is to be able to find it.

Who still reads me?

Who wishes I wrote more?

Who is glad I finally stopped raving about inconsequential shit?

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The AIDS Walk

So the San Francisco Annual AIDS Walk is coming up in a week or so. Like many people in my generation, I know someone who has AIDS. My life has been affected by the epidemic. I am walking the AIDS Walk as part of the SF Goth team of walkers in an attempt to raise funds that go towards AIDS research and awareness. If you have it in your hearts to help this cause, you can donate directly in my name and help me reach our fundraising goal. My donation page is here

If that link doesn't work for you, you can go to and click on "Sponsor a Walker" on the left hand side. Type in my first and last name and Viola!

Even if you don't know someone who has AIDS or HIV, given that statistics currently state that 1 in 4 people who have AIDS don't even know it themselves. I'm not going to give lots of numbers, or statistics that might be out of date, or other fairly pointless data. I am going to just ask you to keep this in mind over the next week. If you find that you have an extra $1, $10, $100, whatever. Help a good cause.

Thank you,
Jay Sittler
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Help ID a homicide in your community and mine.

(04-27) 13:48 PDT SAN FRANCISCO - Investigators are asking for the public's
help in identifying a woman who was found dead under suspicious
circumstances last week in a San Francisco hotel.

The case of Jane Doe No. 9 -- described as a 25-year-old white woman

-- was to be turned over to the homicide detail for follow-up investigation
today. She was found last Friday at 7:15 a.m. lying in the eighth-floor
hallway of the Shih Yu-Lang Central YMCA Hotel at 220 Golden Gate Ave. in
the Tenderloin neighborhood.

She was 5-foot-8, 145 pounds, with green eyes and short red hair. She was
dressed in a black long-sleeve shirt, blue jeans and black Converse All-Star

The woman had multiple tattoos, including one of a butterfly on her right
groin, large angel wings on her back, as well as the words "Love Will Tear
Us Apart'' on her chest. Scarring on her left forearm spelled out "Love.''

Alan Pringle, chief investigator for the medical examiner's office, said the
body was found by a man who was staying at the hotel who saw her slumped
against the wall near the communal bathroom on the eighth floor.

She was not a guest, he said. "The manager didn't know her -- she could have
been visiting somebody and whatever happened, happened,'' Pringle said.

Anyone with information about her identity is asked to call the medical
examiner's office at (415) 553-1694.

(no subject)

In January my Grandmother LaVelle died. This morning my Grandfather John (her husband) died.

He was an amazing man. Was an Army Engineer, lost an eye, and came back to talk about it. Came back to marry a woman who had just gotten divorced on her own terms (unheard of in those days) who had 2 children. Together they had my mother. They spent their lives learning the real estate trade, collecting rocks, and raising a wonderful family. They still lived in the house where they met over 55 years later. I spent many christmas eves in that house as a child. There are still pencil marks on the kitchen doorway of how tall I was at age 8, 11, and 15.

That spinach never did put hair on my chest John. I'm going to have to arm-wrestle my own grandkids just so I can let them win too.

It's hard to find the words through all the tears.

Thank you for the punching bag, I did use it.

He was the last one of his generation left in my family. My father's parents have been dead for a while now (father since 1980, mother since 1993 I think). My mother isn't doing so well right now, having just lost both her parents in the span of 3 months.

I'm not doing so well having just lost the only grandparents I will ever have.

I will miss you John.
I love you more than I ever had words for.
I miss you already.

Live life while you have it. Not for your sake but for the people who care about you.
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