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So. I moved to San Francisco 4 years ago. Completely spur of the moment thing, no planning, couldn't have done a worse job of it. Couldn't have been much better though, so I guess it's turned out ok. It all started when my brother got married and I came out here for the wedding. I expected to be here 2 days, and brought clothes and personal belongings fitting to that... I never left. I house-sat for them while they went on their honeymoon for 2 weeks, then couch-crashed until I could reasonably afford to move out. I moved in with mechagojira and childewolf. During the year and a half that we lived together I met some amazing people. Far too many to list on here since I realized that it's nearly half my friends list... Somewhere in there I met a girl previously known as CollapseyLamb and we moved in together. She moved out back in October and I have since then been living by myself until very recently when rabbitron moved into my living room. :) Lovely roommate by the way. Everyone seems surprised when I say that, but honestly I'd rather be living with him than any of the roommates I had back in Albuquerque.

So most of this is information that you all already know. Let's go back a few more years and I'll build you a decent depiction of what lead up to all of that.

About 9 years ago I moved out of my parents house. I was working at AOL at the time, was supporting myself reasonably well, and was just starting to date this girl named Katie (kirke013). I met Katie because one of my best friends (Jonnie) was fucking her roommate Andee. Jonnie, Andee, Katie, and myself were all out at coffee one night for the first time. Jonnie introduced me to Andee, who then introduced me to Katie. (Whom I found out 15 minutes later was the daughter of my 8th grade gifted teacher...) All 4 of us headed back to Katie and Andee's apartentment to watch a movie. Jonnie and Andee locked us out when they got there first and proceeded to scamper directly to the bedroom. This left Katie and I outside on a brisk April night. (It snows in April in Albuquerque.) She and ended up walking around a park near her apartment for like 4 hours trading compliments and testing each other's sense of humour by making rather lewd comments. Needless to say, we hit it off rather well. Cussed out Jonnie and Andee thoroughly when they finally let us in the apartment, despite the good time that she and I had been having. ;) I slept in her bed that night, and every night following for about 3 years. So when I moved out of my parents house, I moved in with Katie, our friend Justin, and our other friend Nick. Justin I have since then lost track of, but I'll catch you up on Nick in a moment. Jonnie and Andee ended up moving to Arizona and then breaking up. Both are married with children by other people now. Good for them. Nick I just saw over the weekend and is doing well. Katie was the one who stole my heart. Literally. I really don't think I've loved anyone as deeply and truly as I did her. I can say that because I still love her. She and I dated for almost 3 years to the day and then broke up due to mostly circumstances. Looking back on it now, neither of us can really remember why exactly we broke up.

There's one person reading this besides Katie who was there the entire time and knows all of this already. ogredrew, speak up if I get a detail wrong. :)

So after Katie and I broke up I was single. For a very long time. Until after I moved to San Francisco. She started seeing someone a few months after she and I broke up though. I was crushed. I cried. I listened to a lot of Jim Croce and Cruxshadows and didn't sleep much. Yeah, I messed myself up pretty good there for a while. I moved out here to San Francisco in June of 2004. She got married about the same time. Had a son on September 27th of 2005 named Tristan (yes, the day before my birthday). Got divorced not long after that. Long story that I'll let her tell if she feels like it.

It basically comes down to this: She never stopped loving me, nor I her. I'm not moving back to Albuquerque. She's not moving to San Francisco. Somehow, this is going to work. I refuse to be that fucking stupid and let her go again. Tristan has only just begun to affect my life. :)

She and I met about 9 years ago now, dated for the first three and then haven't seen each other for 5 except this last Saturday and Sunday. It amazes me still how things fall back into place when they're supposed to be there. Her son is adorable and I'll be sticking links up at some point to both of them. Coming also are all the pictures I took while in Albuquerque, as well as while driving a 26' truck across Arizona. I'm in Southern California right now and will be home tomorrow. I am happy to be going home, but I could be -so- much happier about it.

To those of you with delusions about how all my exes hate me, or how I'm universally the one being dumped: Go fuck yourself, I have enough friends to not have to work for you as one. To the family of mine who somehow decided to listen to my crazy ex about how I'm abusive: Go fuck yourself, I'll make a new family somewhere else. The least I would do for my family would be to hear their side of things before making a judgement call on their behavior. You can apologize, or we won't talk. The ball is in your court.

You know what you can do with that cut tag request? Yeah...

Yes, this journal entry is supposed to be public, there are people who read this that don't have livejournal accounts and would appreciate knowing all of this. Yes, the comments are supposed to be on. I always like knowing what my friends think of my inner turmoil. No, I'm not trolling nor asking for flames. If the people I just told to fuck off would like to comment, I'd appreciate it being in an e-mail or phone call instead.


( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 8th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
That's awesome Jay! Good luck & all that (everyone's said all the really good stuff already. Damn!). You know, if she wont move here & you wont move there, maybe meet somewhere in the middle & start a whole new life! If you do that though, you must visit VERY often!
Mar. 8th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
"Go fuck yourself, I have enough friends to not have to work for you as one".
Yes Jay, I sympathize completely with that comment, as I feel like that often.
Thank you for speaking what was in your mind, you didnt feel much like talking about it at DG last I saw you. I'll buy you dinner next time I see ya.
Mar. 11th, 2007 02:44 am (UTC)
I'm glad you're happy. I never knew most of that story... in some ways you're very much a stranger to me, but I admire you and wish you well. I wonder if I ever met Katie...?

I drive a 26' truck sometimes too. What was in yours?
Mar. 11th, 2007 12:12 pm (UTC)
I don't know if you ever met Katie actually... I'll ask her though.

The 26' truck I was driving had all of my mother's stuff in it. We just moved her out here to California finally. :)
Mar. 13th, 2007 04:35 am (UTC)
hey butt hole!
hey ive been there to with you just about the whole damn. i remember meeting you and katie for the first time. you were the 3rd amtgarder and mudder that i had met at clan many many moons ago. i think i remember her smileing face and everyone laughing as i spent my frist night drinking at your fire. htrough the years we've both gone through a pleathera of stories. and we both ended back up in california at the same time for the reason.... i ended up in san fran too clubbing with you! *i also ended up back in california for my older brothers wedding reception and ended up staying there instead of going back home* lol im planning on going back to texas this year and getting back my weapons at least... maybe even sort some stuff out with the toothpaste boy* well im back on the mud.
i dont think ive ever seen you happyer when you've spoken of katie.
she brings out the best of you and she knows you through and through.
i remeber you dating hawkie and the mud... ****still the best mud i had ever played**** and the other drama and lol. i dont get to talk to you in the least bit anymore i wonder if you still think of me at all anymore. i still think of you my friend especially when i see a pair of black high legged stomp'n boots.
your friend alway,
DarkLady (ginaloree)
Mar. 16th, 2007 05:37 am (UTC)
i wish you luck. i remember katie, and how you seemed happier with her than i'd seen you be for years prior to that. admittedly those might have been particularly angst-ridden teen years, i don't really know, but still... i wish you happiness.
Mar. 25th, 2007 10:02 pm (UTC)
hi! I found your lj. Weeeee!

Anyway, good for you. I've never done the long distance thing, but, well, ifn you love someone, you can endure a lot to make it work. I foresee a lot of road trips or plane rides in your future.

Jan. 26th, 2008 02:03 am (UTC)
Late but sorry
So this is a year late and I hope still accurate...I am happy for both of you and so glad to see you happy again. I dont know if you read this or post anymroe since you havent posted since early 2007, but I figured I would send it anyhow.

Miss chatting with you. *hugs*
Mar. 10th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
Re: Late but sorry
No longer accurate. Long story, don't worry about it at this point.

Mar. 10th, 2008 03:29 am (UTC)
Re: Late but sorry
So I am going to be living outside of Sacramento for 3 months. Email me...kayamackan@yahoo.com
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