Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

To those of you that haven't heard by reading the drama over on Laurel's Journal, we have broken up.

I'd like to state for the record that I am sorry it has come to this. I love her dearly and will for a long, long time. I hope she doesn't hate me too much, though at the moment I can't tell. She hasn't talked to me since Thursday without yelling so I honestly don't know what's going through her head. I don't know what was going through her head when she went and talked to my ex. If she feels that she is better off now, then I wish her well.

We have lots to work out in terms of getting our apartment sorted out and the PG&E bill transferred to me solely, not to mention the very lonely kitten in my lap purring up a storm.

I wish I could just dismiss this "damn, I keep going out with the same psycho women..." but this is nothing of the sort. Laurel and I have had some wonderful times over the last year and a half, we simply grew apart and stopped communicating. If things with Corey had been like this, I'd probably still call her a friend. I know I'd like to call Laurel a friend a few months from now. I just wish she could talk to me rationally enough to tell me what she wants.

I hope that the healing begins before anything else for her.

And on my side of things, I'm going to take a cue from swinger_kitten and simply stop dating. Maybe there really isn't anything to be afraid of just because I can't hold down a stable relationship. It's possible that I am simply meant to be single the rest of my life and make my happiness elsewhere. That thought scares me, but I have to admit it's a possibility... and at this stage, a rather probable one. I've been at this sort of point before. After Katie and I broke up after 3 years I was single for 3 years. I don't mean "I only kissed people and slept with them pointlessly." I mean I was single. It wasn't the best point in my life, but far from the worst. I'll go that route for a while. Years probably.

I hope that Laurel takes something good out of the last year and a half. I know I will. And I'll miss you in my life.

Goodnight, and good luck.


( 42 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:26 am (UTC)
Yeah, I said that same thing to myself a few times actually...
Oct. 9th, 2006 10:47 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm sorry hon.

I know I don't know you real well, but I feel for you. I'm here if you want to rant at an uninvolved party.
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
Thank you for the dinner company. It was nice to get out of the house for a while.
Oct. 9th, 2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
not dating is a seriously good idea.

especially if you have just broken up with someone after such a long period of time.

take some time off, get to know yourself better and do some soul cleansing.

I am really sorry that you both broke up. I love both of you.

perhaps it's for the best? [fuck, i hate it when people tell me bullshit like that - sorry]

well, if you need a shoulder or a person to lean on [and I would offer the same to her], you can count on me to be there for you. That's what friends do.


on a side note, I love your edward r murrow quote.
Oct. 11th, 2006 12:21 am (UTC)
perhaps it's for the best?
Actually true. And both she and I agree on that point.
Oct. 9th, 2006 10:55 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm so sorry.

As wingedcorset said - I don't know you all that well, but you know I'm here if you need anything (be it to rant, grumble, etc.)

E-mail is BlackRose900(at)yahoo.com (same on yahoo messanger) and BlackRose9001 on AIM.
Oct. 9th, 2006 11:10 pm (UTC)
Healing has to happen for both people ya know. Takes 2 to tango man! I wouldn't say you date psychotic women. I'd say you date eccentric women. Perhaps it is better you stop dating and just concentrate on yourself for awhile. I'm always here to bother too ya know. You do live rather closeby. You have my number. You know where I live. Talk to me?
Oct. 11th, 2006 12:22 am (UTC)
Yes, it does take 2 to tango. Both she and I made some rather bad mistakes. Fortunately, none of them were things that make us hate each other. See, I do learn from my past mistakes!

And actually, I don't have your number.
Oct. 10th, 2006 01:46 am (UTC)
I'm sorry honey. I'm glad that things arent as crazy as last time around- sheesh that was enough drama to last a lifetime.

Take care of yourself and try not to become too much of a hermit. you're too sexy for that. Anyway give a call if you're ever in Santa Cruz and want to grab some coffee or something. (Also, I'm finally 21 in 2 months, and I'll prolly head up there soon after- I'll let you know)
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
You have one weekend left to make it out to Faire over near Hollister. Why haven't you been there yet?
(no subject) - hatchling - Oct. 11th, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 10th, 2006 01:51 am (UTC)
So sorry, sweetie. I'm here for you if you need anything...
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC)
Thank you. How about lunch or dinner or something, sometime?
(no subject) - missmerrick - Oct. 11th, 2006 10:41 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - digitalgoth - Oct. 11th, 2006 07:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - missmerrick - Oct. 11th, 2006 07:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - digitalgoth - Oct. 11th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 10th, 2006 06:04 am (UTC)
So sorry it came to this for you two. *hugs* You know how to get ahold of me if you need to.
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC)
Thank you. I'll see you on Friday night or Saturday morning at the latest.
Oct. 10th, 2006 09:21 pm (UTC)
My weekends are busiest but I'm free weekday afternoons and evenings. Anytime. Pick a time and call me.
Oct. 11th, 2006 12:18 am (UTC)
My weekends are full with Faire for one more weekend, but my weekdays are remarkably empty at the moment. Technically I work, but it's from home half the week or more. How about Thursday? Dinner?
(no subject) - phyxius - Oct. 11th, 2006 03:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - digitalgoth - Oct. 11th, 2006 07:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - phyxius - Oct. 11th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - digitalgoth - Oct. 11th, 2006 07:27 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 10th, 2006 11:05 pm (UTC)
I'm really sorry that things didn't work out for you two :( And it explains your next post a bit better. Speaking as someone with very similar issues (if not actually the same one's) boy do I hear ya! It gets better but it takes work. My heart goes out to you, transition time is never easy.
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:26 am (UTC)
It's not so much transition time as it is adjustment time. I can't really explain how I mean that as a difference, but you'll have to trust me on it. ;)

By the way: Am I ever going to see you out again?
(no subject) - dndupree - Oct. 11th, 2006 06:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - digitalgoth - Oct. 11th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dndupree - Oct. 11th, 2006 09:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 11th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
Ouch. I think not dating is a terrific idea. It doesn't sound terrific when you first give it a go, but it's better than going on random dates with people and getting stuck with someone who you may sort of like, but who doesn't really *fit*, you know?

I quit dating actively about a year and a half ago. Since I moved to AZ 6 months ago I haven't gone on a single date at all. Which basically means that I've spent more time with the people that I really identify with, instead of trying to force myself to like someone that I *don't*. After awhile, you give up on expectations. Which sounds sad, except when you realize that you'll eventually run into someone who really "gets" you precisely because you're not expecting it anymore.

Oct. 11th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
*nods* That's the plan. :) Except I tend to actually actively avoid relationships when I'm at this mental stage. yeah, that means I could miss the "perfect" person for me, but somehow... if they're really the "perfect" person for me, then they'll stick around. or come back.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - digitalgoth - Oct. 11th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:34 am (UTC)
just thought you could use one.
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
Thank you. And welcome to my friends list... Finally.
Oct. 11th, 2006 04:47 pm (UTC)
*hugs you*

I've been meaning to write you a letter.
I still have the one you wrote me, along with the photos you sent.

Oct. 11th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you.

I'd love a letter from you. I still have the card you sent me too. :)
Oct. 17th, 2006 12:01 am (UTC)
Hey baby. I'm sorry things is rough for you. But the single thing seems to be the best plan for a lot of us right now.

Thank god for kittens.
Oct. 17th, 2006 02:04 am (UTC)
Things was rough, but now they're getting better. After all, once you're at the bottom of the gully, all you can do is climb out, right?
Oct. 19th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
Dude! So, I check out your LJ for the first time, and this was the first post I saw. Can't say I'm happy about it, but it's your life and you know what's best. I'm just really sorry. You two are terrific people and I hope to see one (or both) of you soon.

Oct. 19th, 2006 11:08 am (UTC)
You'll see me at the halloween pumpkin carving party over at Bruce and Dana's if you're there.
(no subject) - matrushkaka - Oct. 19th, 2006 06:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 42 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

November 2008