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"And God said..."

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And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach; green and yellow vegetables of all kind so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.

And so Satan created McDonald's, and McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent cheeseburger. And Satan said to man; "You want fries with that?", and man said "Super size it.", and man gained a few pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And Satan introduced chocolate, and woman gained a few pounds. And God said "Try my crispy fresh salad." and Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained a few pounds.

And God said "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables, and olive oil with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried-steak so large that it required it's own platter. And man gained a few pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable-tv and the remote control so man would not have to toil to change between ESPN and ESPN2. And man gained a few more pounds.

And God said unto Satan "You're running the score up. Damn you." And with that, God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming over with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. Then to up the ante, he brought forth sour cream dip.

And man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan said, "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.

Comments

bsittler
Feb. 10th, 2004 12:36 am (UTC)
Re:
"hush puppies"

(as in cornmeal and mashed potatoes, deep-fat-fried))

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