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To those of you that haven't heard by reading the drama over on Laurel's Journal, we have broken up.

I'd like to state for the record that I am sorry it has come to this. I love her dearly and will for a long, long time. I hope she doesn't hate me too much, though at the moment I can't tell. She hasn't talked to me since Thursday without yelling so I honestly don't know what's going through her head. I don't know what was going through her head when she went and talked to my ex. If she feels that she is better off now, then I wish her well.

We have lots to work out in terms of getting our apartment sorted out and the PG&E bill transferred to me solely, not to mention the very lonely kitten in my lap purring up a storm.

I wish I could just dismiss this "damn, I keep going out with the same psycho women..." but this is nothing of the sort. Laurel and I have had some wonderful times over the last year and a half, we simply grew apart and stopped communicating. If things with Corey had been like this, I'd probably still call her a friend. I know I'd like to call Laurel a friend a few months from now. I just wish she could talk to me rationally enough to tell me what she wants.

I hope that the healing begins before anything else for her.

And on my side of things, I'm going to take a cue from swinger_kitten and simply stop dating. Maybe there really isn't anything to be afraid of just because I can't hold down a stable relationship. It's possible that I am simply meant to be single the rest of my life and make my happiness elsewhere. That thought scares me, but I have to admit it's a possibility... and at this stage, a rather probable one. I've been at this sort of point before. After Katie and I broke up after 3 years I was single for 3 years. I don't mean "I only kissed people and slept with them pointlessly." I mean I was single. It wasn't the best point in my life, but far from the worst. I'll go that route for a while. Years probably.

I hope that Laurel takes something good out of the last year and a half. I know I will. And I'll miss you in my life.

Goodnight, and good luck.
-Jay

Comments

( 42 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:26 am (UTC)
Yeah, I said that same thing to myself a few times actually...
wingedcorset
Oct. 9th, 2006 10:47 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm sorry hon.

I know I don't know you real well, but I feel for you. I'm here if you want to rant at an uninvolved party.
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
Thank you for the dinner company. It was nice to get out of the house for a while.
rabbitron
Oct. 9th, 2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
not dating is a seriously good idea.

especially if you have just broken up with someone after such a long period of time.

take some time off, get to know yourself better and do some soul cleansing.

I am really sorry that you both broke up. I love both of you.

perhaps it's for the best? [fuck, i hate it when people tell me bullshit like that - sorry]

well, if you need a shoulder or a person to lean on [and I would offer the same to her], you can count on me to be there for you. That's what friends do.

======================================================

on a side note, I love your edward r murrow quote.
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 12:21 am (UTC)
perhaps it's for the best?
Actually true. And both she and I agree on that point.
blackrose900
Oct. 9th, 2006 10:55 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm so sorry.

As wingedcorset said - I don't know you all that well, but you know I'm here if you need anything (be it to rant, grumble, etc.)

E-mail is BlackRose900(at)yahoo.com (same on yahoo messanger) and BlackRose9001 on AIM.
divia
Oct. 9th, 2006 11:10 pm (UTC)
Healing has to happen for both people ya know. Takes 2 to tango man! I wouldn't say you date psychotic women. I'd say you date eccentric women. Perhaps it is better you stop dating and just concentrate on yourself for awhile. I'm always here to bother too ya know. You do live rather closeby. You have my number. You know where I live. Talk to me?
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 12:22 am (UTC)
Yes, it does take 2 to tango. Both she and I made some rather bad mistakes. Fortunately, none of them were things that make us hate each other. See, I do learn from my past mistakes!

And actually, I don't have your number.
hatchling
Oct. 10th, 2006 01:46 am (UTC)
I'm sorry honey. I'm glad that things arent as crazy as last time around- sheesh that was enough drama to last a lifetime.

Take care of yourself and try not to become too much of a hermit. you're too sexy for that. Anyway give a call if you're ever in Santa Cruz and want to grab some coffee or something. (Also, I'm finally 21 in 2 months, and I'll prolly head up there soon after- I'll let you know)
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
You have one weekend left to make it out to Faire over near Hollister. Why haven't you been there yet?
hatchling
Oct. 11th, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
because I'm lame.
Seriously though, last weekend I was sick as a dog, and there are other excuses for the others, too. I'll see if the boy wants to this weekend, though, I'd like that.
missmerrick
Oct. 10th, 2006 01:51 am (UTC)
So sorry, sweetie. I'm here for you if you need anything...
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC)
Thank you. How about lunch or dinner or something, sometime?
missmerrick
Oct. 11th, 2006 10:41 am (UTC)
Indeed. I'm available for lunch on Thursday and *maybe* Friday. Also, an early dinner on Thursday would also work. Otherwise, we might have to revisit this next week. Rich and I will be coming to Faire on Saturday. Which Faire is it that you work at?
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:00 pm (UTC)
The one down near Hollister/Gilroy. I work for the big swing. Stop by when you get there. :)

We could do lunch thursday. I'll give you a call later tonight or tomorrow and we'll work out details. :)
missmerrick
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:32 pm (UTC)
Sounds like a plan. Rich is also free tomorrow. Mind if he joins us?
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
Not at all. :) it'll be good to see you two.
capjbadger
Oct. 10th, 2006 06:04 am (UTC)
So sorry it came to this for you two. *hugs* You know how to get ahold of me if you need to.
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC)
Thank you. I'll see you on Friday night or Saturday morning at the latest.
phyxius
Oct. 10th, 2006 09:21 pm (UTC)
My weekends are busiest but I'm free weekday afternoons and evenings. Anytime. Pick a time and call me.
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 12:18 am (UTC)
My weekends are full with Faire for one more weekend, but my weekdays are remarkably empty at the moment. Technically I work, but it's from home half the week or more. How about Thursday? Dinner?
phyxius
Oct. 11th, 2006 03:29 am (UTC)
Thursday I'm actually heading over to the Balboa to watch Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde at 7:30 - since it's a silent movie, there's gonna be a live jazz accompaniment, rumored to be really good.

http://www.balboamovies.com/news/index.html#JekyllAndHyde

You can come with (I'll get you in free!) and/or we can do something before/after.
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:22 am (UTC)
Sounds like fun to me. I'm game. You want me to pick you up or meet you there?
phyxius
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC)
Pick me up at 7?
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:27 am (UTC)
Can do. :)
dndupree
Oct. 10th, 2006 11:05 pm (UTC)
I'm really sorry that things didn't work out for you two :( And it explains your next post a bit better. Speaking as someone with very similar issues (if not actually the same one's) boy do I hear ya! It gets better but it takes work. My heart goes out to you, transition time is never easy.
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:26 am (UTC)
It's not so much transition time as it is adjustment time. I can't really explain how I mean that as a difference, but you'll have to trust me on it. ;)

By the way: Am I ever going to see you out again?
dndupree
Oct. 11th, 2006 06:27 pm (UTC)
I understand the difference :)

Um..... I don't know? Will you be at the Covenant/IR show on Sunday? If so then yes :)
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC)
Oddly enough, yes. I might not be getting there until later since I'm driving back from the last day of Ren Faire, but I'll be there.
dndupree
Oct. 11th, 2006 09:26 pm (UTC)
Then hopefully I'll get to see you! :) Have fun at Faire!
swankspike
Oct. 11th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
Ouch. I think not dating is a terrific idea. It doesn't sound terrific when you first give it a go, but it's better than going on random dates with people and getting stuck with someone who you may sort of like, but who doesn't really *fit*, you know?

I quit dating actively about a year and a half ago. Since I moved to AZ 6 months ago I haven't gone on a single date at all. Which basically means that I've spent more time with the people that I really identify with, instead of trying to force myself to like someone that I *don't*. After awhile, you give up on expectations. Which sounds sad, except when you realize that you'll eventually run into someone who really "gets" you precisely because you're not expecting it anymore.

digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
*nods* That's the plan. :) Except I tend to actually actively avoid relationships when I'm at this mental stage. yeah, that means I could miss the "perfect" person for me, but somehow... if they're really the "perfect" person for me, then they'll stick around. or come back.
(Deleted comment)
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
I know you're still here and paying attention. :)

I love my friends for it too... Hence why I call them friends. But it takes more than just them being gently with me, it takes them being -honest- with me too. Hence why I still call you a friend, but not Corey.
darcniteprowler
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:34 am (UTC)
*hug*
just thought you could use one.
digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
*hugs*
Thank you. And welcome to my friends list... Finally.
rivermilk
Oct. 11th, 2006 04:47 pm (UTC)
*hugs you*

I've been meaning to write you a letter.
I still have the one you wrote me, along with the photos you sent.

digitalgoth
Oct. 11th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you.

I'd love a letter from you. I still have the card you sent me too. :)
akatrielle
Oct. 17th, 2006 12:01 am (UTC)
Hey baby. I'm sorry things is rough for you. But the single thing seems to be the best plan for a lot of us right now.

Thank god for kittens.
digitalgoth
Oct. 17th, 2006 02:04 am (UTC)
Things was rough, but now they're getting better. After all, once you're at the bottom of the gully, all you can do is climb out, right?
matrushkaka
Oct. 19th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
Dude! So, I check out your LJ for the first time, and this was the first post I saw. Can't say I'm happy about it, but it's your life and you know what's best. I'm just really sorry. You two are terrific people and I hope to see one (or both) of you soon.

-K
digitalgoth
Oct. 19th, 2006 11:08 am (UTC)
You'll see me at the halloween pumpkin carving party over at Bruce and Dana's if you're there.
matrushkaka
Oct. 19th, 2006 06:59 pm (UTC)
I will be there.
( 42 comments — Leave a comment )

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