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I had to repost this...

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and ages, what do you think would be a fir price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (leve. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studdied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

-Concerned Reader.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
water_of_fire
Feb. 1st, 2006 09:26 am (UTC)
Oh man, where did I first see this? This gives me a guilty chuckle every time.
phyxius
Feb. 1st, 2006 09:29 am (UTC)
"Guilty"? Why for the guilty part?
water_of_fire
Feb. 1st, 2006 09:32 am (UTC)
Because it's so dumb and I laugh at it every. single. time.
phyxius
Feb. 1st, 2006 09:39 am (UTC)
I love it. It makes a good point and it's amusing.
missmerrick
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:03 am (UTC)
*applauds*
eviladmin
Feb. 1st, 2006 01:43 pm (UTC)
I still laugh, out loud even, every time.
I wish Brother Jed was still around, (he was big on abominations) and we used to ask him these questions, but without the cheat sheet.

For a complete list of laws, and interpretations on how to follow them, send a self addressed stamped FedEx return box (for a 20-30lb package) to...
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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